tachyon's lala land

不能说的秘密

2011-12-11T04:13:00.002+08:00

十年了。。可说长不长，短不短。俗话说的好，”人生哪来的几个十年？“ 这十年来过的不容易。有个朋友对我说：”你们两本来就很rocky，所以不因该觉得很稳定“ (说的也对也错）。　当一个人很刻意把自己的幸福藏在心里，而只能远望着那遗失的爱，已经是个错。

我本就对她不公平，用着有色的眼镜去爱她。　如果两个人不能勾通而迟迟不开始的话，久了就死了。　也有另一个朋友说到　：“还以为是你呢！！？”　太多偏见了。。sigh。早不巴不健康的习惯（她的）于别人的偏见搞定也是我的过错。太迟了，怎么解释也每人会了解/认同。 Calvin 真的应该是错的一方。就这样认命吗？剧中人散。。满象一首歌的。。ｈｅｅｅｈｅｅ

From this day forth

2011-01-19T00:06:00.001+08:00

i shall never ever wait again...waste my time to hear insults....

十年如一日。。

2011-01-18T20:46:00.002+08:00

为何十年了还是做同样的任务？几时才会有用武之地？哀在。。。。

Smoking

2009-12-22T12:07:00.003+08:00

Ever faced a dying person on a life support system dying from lung cancer? Dropping all their hair due chemotherapy and cant talk coz of the breathing tube inserted into their throat?

Perhaps most probably not or you wouldnt remember much.... for i did see my own grandmother die from the disease that struck me so hard that i hated smokers for a long time. In fact i hated my own grandmother for being so biased towards my sister that I cannot forgive her. But thats another story.

Seeing my parents cry and sob over the dead body was a lousy ting even for a 7 year old. Perhaps the sadness changed my perception towards smoking. I clearly remembered asking my Dad not to smoke and the family laughed, saying I was disrespectful. He was smoking in the balcony of the hospital ward that my grandma was dying inside.

A fren complained to me today that her neighbour was smoking and she hated it...i reminded her that her own hubby was a smoker and perhaps she shld ask him to stop first instead. The conversation went on to say that it does not mean that smoker is a good person by quitting. Obviously she never ever saw someone choke to death by cancer....the very last breath wheezing away..

Then i tried to tell her that my own grandma died from cancer due smoking. This fren insisted that cancer is caused by other factors and not smoking. duh.. When she lost the arguement...she said i cursed her family....I did not. (We are 30 years old..not kids you noe)

The truth hurts...im sorry to be the bearer of dark and cursed words. But facts are facts... Its my fucking problem that my grandmother died from smoking (quoting from her). But I cannot tell you nothing is wrong when everything is.

Stop giving excuses...do someting

A disappointing evening

2009-12-10T03:46:00.002+08:00

Was supposed to go for a dinner function with QQ, She had asked me to accompany her to the dinner so I had agreed to go. As we arrived at the dinner, the bombshell dropped...we are not sitting together. She was placed to sit with her colleagues whilst I was seated with a bunch of total strangers. I was quite disappointed. I had asked her to book and arrange for this event as I could not access the system or the organisers. The arrangement of the seats were totally confused and poorly allocated. QQ tried to change the seats but couldnt do it.

Sigh..I wasnt angry but felt sad that the poor seating plan couldnt be reversed and thus I asked to leave. I really couldnt sit down for a ten course dinner with people that I totally dont know. Thus I missed a good dinner and the good speeches :( SAD

I cannot reverse time but I really hoped to have ate the dinner. But I cannot accept the fact that the organisers couldnt be found before the event and I couldnt sit with QQ. Sigh. Is that how tings really work ? Sad.....

PS I Love You

2009-07-14T03:30:00.002+08:00

Watching the show PS I Love You....the show started ok...with quarrels and arguments i go thru daily.haha... the screaming and insulting...and all. Really struck a cord. Then the twist came in with the death.

I wonder how is it like if one day i go... i really feel i wun be remembered for long..perhaps 1 week or so. Already dont have much mates now.....perhaps none will appear at my passing...is that it God?

Was tinking wat God has in stall for me...a fren told me i have a bright future. I am really looking forward to it... :)

Is vengeance the way? or not?

2009-07-10T05:57:00.003+08:00

Saw some photos of the 3 of them. celebrating rosa's bday. Struck me very hard. And its very painful. Some say let it go. Some say its not worth it. But the very fact i "died" wo a fair trial was a real unfair ting to me. Perhaps its me, my char, my stubborness, my attitude...easily misunderstood and never given a second chance.

Sometimes i wonder if i would one day become a evil man. A revenge seeking person who sought to do in all those who did me wrong. Watching batman begins really struck a cord w me. A thin line is drawn btw sanity and vengeance.

I choose sanity. I am very unhappy inside. But nth in this world cannot be handled. As my job needs me to be conscious and aware, I am aware of my situation in and ard my life and I will let go sooner or later. One way or another.

Revenge and justice is never the same. Even if i felt better i cannot reverse the things that happened and i think our frenships broke down for a reason. Even as how hard it feels, I will do it and sever the links and the this sorry self pity. They don't care anyway. They were the ones who let me go :)

bb 小蓝

2009-07-05T05:35:00.003+08:00

very sad that i found her motionless in the tank ...my blue crayfish...in my attempt to build her a bigger residence..i inadvertently killed her instead by introducing a new tankmate...sadly....i have to learn from this experience...thank u 小蓝 for the chopstick fights...the love u showed me and for not murdering xiao bai....im sorry daddy couldnt give u a better life....these 6 mths has been really lively...love u and hopefully u have a good crayfish heavenly time. 永别了。。

And...

2009-06-28T02:55:00.000+08:00

To the rest of the fucking assholes...got guts come to me direct... NB ...piss me off...

Not happy

2009-06-28T02:46:00.002+08:00

Several years ago...i thought i had a friend "biscuit". Knew him whilst on BMTAC and this was a nice chap. QQ's csemate. He was happily with Small.B then...kinda envied him about it. I was rather close to Small.B as well. Suddenly, after beings R.C's wedding Mcee....this fren dumped Small.B and became smittened with A.

Tonite...someone told me that biscuit dont like the way I talk to him. Coz my intentions are not appreciated. And biscuit doesnt like me at all. OK FINE. Im pissed. Im pissed being there when the whole shit fell apart. When Small.B keep asking me wat she did wrong and if she could get him back. I m pissed being the listening ear and being there and standing by biscuit even though he hurt my good sister.

Im pissed that someone said biscuit dumped Small.B coz she forced him to get married. How a convenient excuse....

TO Biscuit: IF you are not happy with me, come tell me straight in the face. from the times in 2001 until now i always treated you like a brother and friend. You chose to leave 621 for alpha hotel and although we all though it wasnt a good idea we still supported you. People snipe u i hear it i tell u and warn u to be careful. If u FUCKING dun appreciate...then fuck all and begone this 8 years of frenship or wateva ~ship. I was there as much as I can....nothing more i can do le...you diao there also not my problem...sorry for being concerned dude.

Irony

2009-06-27T20:11:00.000+08:00

小女孩要爸爸疼爱却被拒绝。。。我有棵博爱之心却没人要接受。天意。。

for char...

2009-06-27T00:52:00.001+08:00

Get a life

2009-06-26T01:31:00.001+08:00

If im not from ur bloody grp...wun even bother asking your precious results....get a grip...1st class honours cant work also is a useless piece of paper....

最深刻的夜晚。。

2009-06-19T02:40:00.001+08:00

在凌晨两点十四分的早上，静静的。。。鸦雀无声，一个人看住荧光屏。。想着想着。。一生的目标是什么。。活的目的是什么。。能不能得到目标的要求。还是个未知数。不会放弃的。。。。直到最后一口气。。

Yes...I want to be like her

2009-06-16T04:06:00.001+08:00

At the ebb of everyone's life....when tings get shitty ...never give up.... The finishing line is still way ahead... Susan's my heroine!~~

How long is 4mths?

2009-04-04T02:38:00.001+08:00

Is it a long time ??? perhaps to me its only like yesterday....perhaps even 8 years seems like yesterday standing outside 484 West Street. If i had to do it...i will do it all over again......nth comes close

爱的谎言。。

2009-02-26T11:04:00.001+08:00

如果会有哪一天，
你终于还是离开我，
我也想陪你到最后，
等到无能为力，
才放开手。。。

这个世界除了爱你之外，
还有任何预言。。。

LHY

2009-02-25T18:23:00.001+08:00

Had a friend since 1998 and although we did not contact much after we parted ways in 2000, I could rem the zest in his smile and the efforts he put into our group. All the "on-ness" was seeping through him everyday...the 1.8 mile runs in 7 mins...the chasing back to encourage the slower ones. I did remember only out running him once coz he was a bit sick.

All the nice memories of him came crashing dwn today when I saw the same chap in SCA today. From afar, I called out to him...he like never really see me, approached and smiled and shook his hand and then...the nonchalant reply, the hardened experession and the body language was obvious, he wanted to walk off with my hand attached to his..lol

I was saddened....which normallly would culmulate in a bad day before, was "disgusted" somewat...But that was only rubberstamped by someone who mentioned he wasnt like tis...he was cheerful the last time they met...(Only to mention "oops, his boss was there too perhaps". Disgusted.

Colleagues we are...the lacking of the fibre of meaningful attachement. All those years of nice notions was flushed down when I went to the loo next to Popeyes. hahaha

我的三位公主。。

2009-02-24T12:54:00.002+08:00

虽然我说我不想，我不在意，但我还是会担心她们。虽然我在她们面前一句话都不说，眼神好像当她们不存在，我还是很想念她们的。。。时间才过了哪一个月。。。但好多事情发生了，我真的爱默难住。。没办法。。。只能看看以前的照片。。正是的。。说ny窝囊。。。其实我自己也好到不到哪里。

The Cheeko and the storm in a teacup

2009-02-23T22:22:00.001+08:00

Today juz an mate come online...realised his nick can be cheeko.....coz of his surname la!! surfaced it to someone close to him....then...kanna a hailstorm of comments....hmmmmmm ...seriously...din noe the reaction was so big...tot was juz a simple nick calling...eh...when they called me mussel, i also never stir so much...or did i? hahaha...

bottomline ..if i werent close to anyone of u...i will see right thru u as if u were made of glass... as if u never existed.... i care too much le..miss some pple too much le..until they took tings for granted. Sadly...i tink im over them :)

最长的电影。。

2009-02-14T10:52:00.001+08:00

"在给我两分钟，把记忆结成冰" 时间过的太快了,很快的就人去楼空了...只怪我当初没好好地珍惜拥有的幸福, 总以为是不会再重演的, 人心是好的...但我又错了.

其实, 人心的贪念是无尽的. 当你有了"幸福"的时候,你根本察觉不出来...直到幸福被抖走之后....才会慢慢的了解...

有个朋友说..." love is imperfect, thru the imperfection only u can truly experience the love and see perfection" .. 我觉得有点自我逃避...好像因为没什么其他的选择才这么说的...可笑..可悲..无奈吧.. 人生才几十年...有什么好无奈的..如果勉强才是错的..了不了 qq? 以前的过失我承认是我无知的挥霍, 人大了就会学到...只有家人是最好的.. :)

The Rescorla-wagner theory.

2009-01-06T07:56:00.001+08:00

An acquaintance wrote on her blog <quote&gt; If i feel someting about a particular situation, i start getting numb to the previous situation <unquote&gt; How true...how "forgetful" can we all get. I m personally quite like that. I reckon thats good too...to blindly hold onto stuff or ppl that couldnt care two hoots about you is plainly stupid and dumb :P. Reckon thats someting i took so darn long to do and remember to do :)

Frequency

2008-11-29T20:47:00.001+08:00

Do u believe u can undo all the times have went thru ? I was watching frequency the movie and yeah...i believe we all make choices in points of our lives...some good...some bad...some we pay for it.. but hell yeah....we shld always have a chance to redeem ourselves...dun live in regret...do someting... be happy and rectify the wrongs ...its never too late :)

Weddings and me

2008-09-25T18:40:00.002+08:00

was quite suprised when i was talking to F that N has gotten married and is already on honeymoon...time flies and it has been a number of months since I have left their workplace. I did mention to someone before that I would reckon if a friend did not care to invite me to their wedding I would be deemed as outta their "list". Long ago I would be rather displeased and unhappy. Thinking aloud recently, I realised that I shldnt be. I was finding excuses for myself on why I am not there. Simply put it, I was unhappy for not being important.

Fortunately, this time I did not feel much. Did met N when i went to meet a friend at Keppel Towers a couple of mths back. But thats abt it, did meet him again along BKE one morning too. But are we really more than acquaintences? think not :) But I emphasise that I do not have to be sad abou that. Being far away acquaintences is nothing to be ashamed about. Thinking back there are pple that I put at arms length even though they wanted to be closer friends w me. (C.Y was one of them) and I most prob wun invite them if i had a wedding myself. :)

Life goes on with or without certain people, my elephant memory does not serve a correct purpose. IT is current remembering tings that are really unimportant for the purpose of daily life. :) Move on tachyon...its time ....

I was blessed with an elephant's memory

2008-09-04T12:23:00.001+08:00

So clear the scenes at times.....perhaps I didnt realise I had this quirk until much later in my life :) I can recall specific incidences very clearly..perhaps as one gets older it is blemished...perhaps everyone one else remembers...I dunno. It has caused me much heartache b4 but still the benefits outweighs the cons..... Thanks for this blessing... I will grow stronger with it ....learn to curb the unwanted portions...from our experiences we learn, I sure will apply that :)

I am not a patient man

2008-07-21T19:01:00.001+08:00

Last nite was at Chevrons's for a supposed bowling game....teaching a real beginner fren.... instead of doing that right...got her offended instead. Perhaps its my attitude....my method...my expectation...but i cant understand why cant someone throw a 8 pound ball but have to "drop" it. Perhaps its the Singaporean attitude of "i know" so dun teach me. I m really not a patient guy...sorry...but like a friend said..."why dun go for a neighbouring country gal instead? If not dun complain!" Its not abt complaining...its abt if no fate..i wun force anyone...i tried my best everytime.....until my shoulders sprained....wat i got? a smelly face...nah..no more help...zip it better

I am not a patient man

2008-07-21T18:55:00.001+08:00

New Mop

2008-04-22T16:10:00.001+08:00

QQ bot a new mop --- > 3M one. Small in size...big in effect! Had a real good workout simply by mopping.... lol and its a dry mop too! no wet wet floors...no slippery tiles...3M products are good! support them!

My First Nightrun

2008-04-09T03:42:00.001+08:00

Was reading Men's Health ard 2am...then the nice running shoes and experiences on the half marathon...blah..then wanted to turn off the light to join QQ in bed. *TADA! idea came...why dun i go for a run..packed my unused hydro-pac, keys, pedometer...and off i went......stretched a bit and ran in the cold win...shiok...0.9mile in 13:55 (walked a bit lol). Superbly unfit....i dun wanna languish in my 34in pants anymore!!

The ray of sunlight that shines through

2007-09-02T20:14:00.000+08:00

Thru the darkness that covers me, a single ray of sunlight penetrates. Piercing the gloom and the low lying clouds, my world is lit up again. Hope is abound...Impossible is nothing, only the human spirit will prevail.

The s2000 saga

2007-08-07T16:11:00.000+08:00

A while ago, a friend J (is J even my friend? hmmm..) bought a s2000. For the motor illiterates, its a honda convertible. So i was rather interested for taking it for a spin. (of cse with the owner ard). So J said; " sure! after i run it in." So i thought.

Couple of months later, after J had driven it and ran the car in. I asked again. There came a whole shitload of stories : "only him and me driven the car b4" , " i wouldnt drive someting thats not mine". So silly me, thinking that the whole world thinks like me. 我为人人，人人为我。 yeah rite. Apparently I am the only silly fool who would let a FRIEND drive my celica, even QQ thinks im stupid. Yep im a fool.

So to those who ever read this, pls never ask me to let u drive my car, wateva car it is. And if u get to ...its because u are really a close friend. But then again. Think I dun have any. I lost them years ago.

Loner.

When you know

2007-06-07T00:05:00.000+08:00

You would realise you arent really in place. from the first day to the last....tinking happily tings are improving...only to realise its only your own folly..... some pple wun even rem your name, lest know you. most would remain as casual friends, but seldom would one shine so bright till you realise its a gem. And you must know thats life, there aint no fairytale endings. stop dreaming....start living..

When u are sick...

2007-05-17T11:02:00.000+08:00

When u are sick, u realise the real friends who care, the ones who take time off to visit, the love they show for the unable you. When you are down, you see the people who carry u up, lift u from the doldrums and make sure u are ok.

But the real truth is, there aren't such people around. Life is unfair, live with it. So what if u realised ur mistakes ? Fact is u made one and it can never be erased. no matter how hard try.

Biggest regret

2007-05-13T01:34:00.000+08:00

What is yours? Mine is probably not seeing my grandma for the last time before she passed away in 2000 ....it was a real sad event in my life.

what a stinky car!!

2007-05-02T04:17:00.000+08:00

wah seh...todae went to take the rental car to fetch friends from the mrt...and it STUNK like a dead rat!!! searching high and low I couldn't find anyting....until my friend vivian found a packet of LAKSA???? QQ!!!!! aiyoh.....must be from the sar brekky one...which was last FRIDAY??? omg!!! it still stinks now...tml got to return...how siah...lol

DD - QQ
1 - 0

The Day i outran the rain...

2007-04-09T10:54:00.000+08:00

The sky was ominous, clouds were building up and the sky was grey.
The engine started up in the carpark with the usual pitched noise.
Down the ramp and off to the right (QQ cheated) :P
Down to canberra pri and onwards the Woodlands Ave 12. Rain starts
Jay on the cd player.....trd purring away. 1st gear no lift yet
On the SLE nearly empty. Gear 2 / 3 with lift.
Cruising on the BKE and to KJE....heaven.. Rain outran...

*Sounds crappy but somewhat like my life...outran the troubles recently...moving on to the next gear....17th here i come...chiong ah!

The day it rained hail ---> in SG??

2007-03-26T10:59:00.000+08:00

Woke up early todae and realised that it rained overnite...perhaps the start of the sumatras. Heng ah! the clothes were indoor. If not totally waste the wash..... now attending the 2004 lec... Digital Electronics. Feel tired yet refreshed this mrng...wonder why ...slept at 3, woke at 8, reslept till 945. so....good ah!! happy weekend..(partially) ...ok...talk later

Friends

2007-03-12T11:31:00.000+08:00

Nothing beats family in this Real world. From today onwards i can testify to that. I finally saw the true colours .... The thing i had closest to a best friend is a fake. It was juz a figment of my imagination. All those years of friendship is not worth a thing. Silly me...like QQ said, "when will you learn ?" I just woken up to a new day and life today. :)

"When i need you, you aint there, I wonder when the tide will turn one day"

growing up

2007-02-27T23:21:00.000+08:00

Do you remember where u grew up ? do u actually miss the place ? I still miss where i grew up a lot....perhaps will take some photos of it...

7am in school

2007-01-24T08:18:00.000+08:00

wah, today super onz, by 7am thereabouts in school liao. Sitting in the corridor with a cool breeze. F16 juz took off....shattering the peace...wonder if its Mojo lol..... better start paying more attn.

Round CCK trip

2007-01-12T11:14:00.000+08:00

Hate hate hate the rains!!!! how can it rain and rain nonstop. Supposed to take KJE via mandai road. Instead went to Woodlands road, to GOMBAK, U-turn, then to cck and then to sungei tengah. I am fainting already.

How can one drive such a big round to reach a simple place like ntu. ME!!! Its me!!! The character of me and myself was exhibited this morning. Everytime i needed to turn i was bullied into not turning, same as how i conduct my life. Sigh.... when can i get outta this @#$@#%

A New Hope..

2007-01-04T10:22:00.000+08:00

When the year passes and a lot of mistakes are made, Life and time still moves on. We cannot stop and cannot regret. It has to be rectified at some point, mistakes cannot continued to be made time and time again.

Shivering during exams must be stopped. Mind freeze to chucked aside. We must improve.

~my precious...hahah

who would know ?

2006-12-18T18:33:00.001+08:00

Whenever you tink everyting is ok..its actually not...whenever u tink u are nearly at the finish line...actually u are far away.... how many times must i feel this feeling b4 i learn ? sigh .... its sickening....when the other doesnt noe how sad u are, how affected u are, how end of the world it feels like....is this love ?

Part X

2006-12-09T23:15:00.000+08:00

Even though u seem to see a lot of people in the queue, there wasnt a lot of "entertainers". Perhaps the mgt wasnt really in for a carnival atmosphere. hee. That in the pic a a stilt walker...correct or not ah ? Hee...there was a juggler around too ... never took a pic of that fella. Hee....

There was even a Class 95 presentation there...Venetta and F.D!! Although they gave a "look" when i took their pic...hee..believe it or not..they were sitting under short table which was actually an oversized ikea item!! lol !!

Part 9

2006-12-09T23:00:00.000+08:00

Lets continue with my trip that day, 1 1/2 weeks already...so fast...now im already back at work. So can see the morning sun in the pic ?? the queue super duper long lor. There was this father and his kid in the queue too !! hee ... when am i gna get my junior -.0 (do michelin get it ??) lol ..... so so cutey!!! hee ... vanilla's still having the trumpet on .... clean the wounds today....clearing up already dun worry !! tml will be better!!

Part 8 le...forgot its 2 day ago le!!

2006-12-02T02:22:00.000+08:00

Signs.... I simply love them, epsecially those with round fonts!! nice nice lah!! there I was snapping away on the new signs and stuff ard the place. The exit sign was taken when the cisco guard told me to wait behind a waiting band. hee.....

Todae ---> Part 7 !!

2006-12-02T02:16:00.000+08:00

So i saw a lot of people moving towards the outside. Then as a good citizen i follow lor! WAH ...the queue was like !!!??? Then that announced, the 1st couple in the queue was there at 1245AM and they won $1000 in vouchers !! OMG!!!! how can this happen lah!! i shld be there be 12am !! hahah yeah rite...michelin would pmd me and say i cant do it sobby!!!

Further down the queue I could see the same old looooonnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggg QUEUE!!!! omg!! never ending one. Heng they gave out free brekkie!! 1 free orange juice, 1 apple, 1 muffin!!! and free H20 too!! (btw thats the sweetest muffin i ate!)

TBC...

Todae ---> Part 6!!

2006-12-01T01:30:00.000+08:00

So boring so I again wandered to the back of the entrance to snap snap!! Hee …. Come upon the signs here!! So nice and new….michelin sure like it one!! WRU again!!!!!???

2006-12-01T01:29:00.000+08:00

So there I was snapping away from the inside... hehe....the people right in front of me is actually the opening crew!! (Note the chap in the santa hat!!) hee.. The opening time was 0700H but the talk talk and sing sing dragged the time man. But I reckon the wait was well worth !! hehe

Todae --> Part 4

2006-12-01T01:13:00.001+08:00

So I wandered down the entrance and saw these 2 life-sized hearts!! haha ....wonder how it felt to be inside!! I was acutally inside the press registration area. At this time I din c the queue !!! WAH !!! a lot of pple !!! more to follow!!

Todae --- Part 3

2006-12-01T01:03:00.000+08:00

So there I was after walking down the carpark was the entrance. Yellow was the theme of the building, together with BLUE! hee..the Swedish flag mah ..I reall loved the fonts too!! Michelin !! WRU? haha

Todae --- > Part 2!!

2006-12-01T01:02:00.001+08:00

Packed the camera and left the house, not before some kopi xiudai from the friendly coffeeshop downstairs to send me along :). Left the carpark ard 0640H and aimed to reach before 0700H, which was the opening of the IKEA TAMPINES!!! hey!! its 30th Nov already!!

Took the Seletar Country Club way, which was empty at that time. Didn't realise that the Sun rose so early one, it was really bright already. The TPE was abit busy only...so on and on i ZOOOOMMMM......

If you can read the time properly ....its 0704H!! mind you that this clock is somewhat abit faster than it should be! Officially on the trusty Timex I was there at 0700H!!! haha ...

So I stepped outta the car and there were these "footsteps" (Pun intended) to lead you to the entrance of the complex. It didn't look too big then....seriously!!

Todae!

2006-12-01T00:57:00.000+08:00

Wahh....this beta version really is lousy.....kept hanging itself...my last post was nearly done le...then kanna dumped out ..so here is goes

Time check was 0628H and I was on the last disc of LOTR - Return of the King. Aragon was leading the free men of Middle earth against the Mordor (Rememeber Sauron the EYE ??) It was about time to get changed so i did!!

Empathy

2006-11-17T00:12:00.000+08:00

Empathy;
the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

This is something which i feel a lot of people out there have ceased to have as an attribute. Most people are concerned about themselves and about absolving themselves of all fault or potential faults. They have not looked at the simple and basic facts and said to themselves that they have a part to play too.

I was saddened by a friend from salsa that simply wanted things to be done her way. We changed dance school coz of her request but when i met with instructional issues, it was a simple reply "nothing to do with me". I was like....duh...cant she show some form of empathy and understand that it isnt easy for me to enrol into a new environment and pick up dancing as fast as the people that are already there? Perhaps this friendship was nothing but a "partnership" for the classes only. sigh.

Ok dokie...time to pick up tat darn book and study...

I m getting old

2006-11-08T02:37:00.000+08:00

Now that QQ is on her 5day 4nite sail trip...i am a bit like...err...wheres everybody...choco seems sad....vani seems normal and jumpy...they are tick free finally. ah ger been real guai recently...hmmmph..singapore chins cannot praise one...she actually came out to make some noise as i typed...lol... im really feel abit stressed out and lost....sigh...wat can i do...sighx2. 7 more days to the paper....im still not good at it...scarders....how man....sigh....

Anyway...scrappy called me today and woke me up..... He was like "hello....are u coming here to work" lol...really wanna laff...but too sleepy then. Ok lah....gtg zzz....tml another test...sianz...

The close hold spin isnt easy....

2006-10-17T22:26:00.000+08:00

Todae is 2nd lesson of the 2nd level of Bachata...omg ...the close hold spin is killing me....never heard of being duck hand duck leg....thats me!! aiyoh....that instructor kat is killing me...worst than FTS man...haha froze up totally....haha

never tot that i can be so disjointed......piang!! hmmmmmm..... think this dancing ting is scaring me...lol

难道我现在才会知道

2006-10-14T03:25:00.000+08:00

走到了这断路的交叉点，我才了解了我活着的使命。。。

1。谢谢那些激怒我的人，因为你们让我更成熟。

2。谢谢那些拒绝我的人，因为我看到了你们真正的脸孔。

3。谢谢那些让我伤心的人，因为有你们我才会珍惜快乐的时光。

4。对不起那些为我伤透心的人，你们是我一生的懊悔。

5。对不起那些我伤害到的人，我真的不是故意的。

我尽心尽力对待所有的朋友，一个都没故意候刻意去伤到他们。。。。但还是不够，还是有人误会我的企图，觉得我是个有心机的男孩， :( ..我只能放弃那些伤到我的了。。。。。。。。。要不然我一定不会开心的。。。。。。就这样吧。。吧。。加油吧国梁。。。。不能等下去了。。。

Now i finally understand

2006-10-08T03:04:00.000+08:00

Now i finally understand what J felt when she asked me to go back to her at yamasakura in 2003. There she was with tears in her eyes.....asking me to take her back to Toowoomba. I flatly said no and rejected her. a friend yesterday mentioned that it must have took her a lot of courage to have come up with the words. how apt can that be....i finally understand how much J really cared abt me.

Now that the waters have calmed and the tides have ceded...i can see the true colors of someone else. All the curses and psychological torture of being put down as useless and stupid. this i had to tolerate since the second year of the r/s. And the realisation that she doesnt even feel that she is being mean.... thats very saddening.. but i feel exactly what J felt in yamasakura ...unwanted... used... for that day ...im sorry J. i really cannot take u back as if noting was btw me and QQ. but i cannot turn time back. its already 2006.....i wish i could...really wish i could. to reverse the mistakes i made...but we all have to grow up and move on...time and tide waits for no man..tats a fact of life.

And for QQ...hope u realise that u disappt me a lot on the way to how tings happ...I cannot imagine how fast u can react in an arguement....if our 5 year r/s means ntg to u....pls go on.....u can leave me here ....im contented already...ntg more to ask for....if time is up...its up

I shouldn't be doing this....

2006-09-18T22:22:00.000+08:00

I should be flying instead...

Today is the day

2006-08-29T22:16:00.000+08:00

I remember many years ago I told an oral exam teacher that I loved standing in the crowds looking at strangers walking past. Actually never really do it.....until todae. After gym i walked around my old fave haunt Heeren. Still renovating the extension but the top levels are pretty the same. Missed it a lot. Went to HMV to buy "The LakeHouse OST" S$47 bucks!!!! OMG. But then...still loved it. Played the whole CD on the way home in the TRD. Okay. Before I went home, I walked down the Crown plaza stretch of orc rd. An idea come to my mind. I shld document whateva I can remember abt my life b4 I grew too old to forget. So I took out my handphone and snapped away. Poor Nokia has bad pic quality. hehe But then came a survey gal who asked me my age. Told her I 27 and she literally jumped! haha she was like huh? 27? lol she tot i was much younger (QQ!! lol) anywaymy first pic was randomly taken at Paragon....then walked down to near Lucky Plaza there and back.

Wanted to cross back to Heeren side, but the other light came and I tot, hmmm Taka then. Walked down the escaltor listening to the pod the the fountain came up. left turn and first pic in taka

The big TV (wats the name of this place? LOL)

This place held many a memory for waiting for those girlfriends last time. LOL But seeing the old tv screens makes me feel as if i am old too. Taka was opened in 94 rite? seems a loooooong time ago. Then I walked to my left and saw the macdonalds!!

Macdonald's at B1 Takashimaya Singapore
Wah! This place got some farny memory. Back in JC, I was friends with a bunch of gals Eileen and Shuxian. But another friend of mine Fushui SUPER like Shuxian lah! So we were here in this mac I tink in 97 talking abt Fushui and how Shuxian was going throw him off the scent. Then all of a sudden my mother walked past!!! There I was with 3 gals in uniform hahah. But my mother actually smiled! Boy was I glad.

Who does this look like?

2006-08-29T22:13:00.000+08:00

Before i start the rest of the posts today, I went to buy bedding for ah ger my chin....then i saw this persian kitty in a cage....purr and purr hehe...machiam like dog man....took a quick photo...look like who leh ?? QQ what u say?

Pearl harbour ??

2006-08-24T02:27:00.000+08:00

Whilst it is already like 2:19 AM.... I am watching Pearl harbour ... poor Rafe in the show (Ben Affleck). But then again....he is rather smooth. (Remind anyone of anything?) The story of the lover dead and coming back after 2 years is tragic (Sigh) But then its a story, aint such thing happening now. (remember castaway?) WILSON!! haha ...

請問你找到了一生的致愛了沒有

2006-08-14T20:05:00.000+08:00

看了西關大少了之後﹐感觸非常多。從一個沒有出息的大少爺﹐ 到一個可以照顧一家人的男人。。有時候真的是看了都覺得自己很慚愧。可說一生的致愛真的是一生只能找到一個。剛剛謝小姐問了我如何我找到了沒有。。。。那真的是我自己的秘密。

Trailer !! The Lake House...

2006-08-01T15:13:00.000+08:00

Visonary Vanguard

2006-08-01T02:40:00.000+08:00

The movie the lake house was one that I always thought I would like. 2 people living 2 years difference living at the same house. Thats beside the point I m a keanu reeves person ...keke.

The story somehow struck a cord in me. Like the previous post on 2 years difference. It seem so so short to the people around me. But in this story. It seem like there isnt any at all. Like wat Stephen Hawking's postulation of parallel universes running at the same time.

Sometimes I am glad that things turned out the way they did. Rather then being lost and alone + having a kid in tow. Lucky certain things din work out, made me stronger each time. They all had to be at the same place at the same time. Thats how it works.

Go watch the show. Worth every penny keke

My realisation

2006-07-15T03:18:00.000+08:00

Last thurs, I was sitting happily rite at the back of LT22. waiting for the lecture to start... outta the blue a thought flashed past my mind. I finally understood some of the actions that people actually did in and to my life.

Perhaps pushing blame to someone else is always the easiest thing to do. From why the car swerve in front of you. To why the aircraft taxy so slow....to why some people do certain things.

Take for example Jan. I always blamed her for coming to brisbane to find me only to cry and cry to want my to take her back---> only to get attached to another fella after 2 weeks she got back home. Perhaps looking back, I couldnt have hurt her more already, from panadols to jumping off HDBs ....i couldnt tink of more things that she threatened or wanted to do.

I took it as if it wasnt happening, amist all the begging, i love yous blah blah blah. All i could think was i was near to losing my job and the greener pastures without this baggage. I was selfish and totally out of line there.

Many a time later, Jan mentioned that I was the one with the committment issues. Sigh Perhaps not showing enough care to an insecure gal was the problem. But where are all those friends who advised me to leave her ? All gones.

Things happened for a reason. Hope all well ends well. I wanna start from scratch....can i get the chance?

My psychological barrier

2006-07-09T02:41:00.000+08:00

Think spewing this out might do me some good. Did u pple know that I was actually a top student b4? hah...many many years ago....in pri 1 - 3. Top 7 in sch. Effortlessly each time.But mightily scared that my mom will throw me outta the house if i din do well.

She always threatened me with something or another each time there was exams. But being at such a tender age, it wasnt that hard to try abit harder. And results did i get, but still not good enuf.

After switching to SAS, I still topped the class in pri 3. Until the change in standard in pri 4 did I still dropping lol. PSLE was 246 ( missed SAP by a little) and sec 1 really sucked. But there came sec 2, there was the year I really tried super super hard. Finally did my best, 2nd in class but due to a geo paper which someone cheated 12 marks. AMAZING. How can he live on knowing he cheated in an exam???!!

Taking my report book home, mom wasnt even interested, threw it outta the door. "sorry, not first in sch, not interested". I was like !#@%$@#%? how can it be ??? switched off did i. Dunno why, but this invisible dome started forming, like i can never do well. Sigh.

From then on, sch, flying and so on all became like I was second best....my enemy is myself. I cannot overcome it. I am still trying at age 27.

Hope someone out there understands...QQ does..and she listens...keke...but ntg more. Is there someone like me ??? sigh

How you know someone don't like you anymore

2006-07-04T23:06:00.000+08:00

1) You are told not too call that person again
2) Phonecalls are never picked up
3) You get voicemail all the time
4) MSN is on ignored list
5) That person do not recognise you anymore
6) Life sux feeling
7) You dun know what to do all of a sudden
8) By that time -- > its over already

How you know someone likes you...

2006-07-04T23:04:00.000+08:00

1) That person appears at locations where u frequent
2) You get plenty of phonecalls from that person
3) You get showered with presents
4) You get increased attention
5) Your skin tingles
6) You are irked!!
7) You get many conveniences which you did not have b4

Someone din made it home today...

2006-07-03T20:55:00.000+08:00

Passed by an accident site todae......saw the police WRXes.....then the smashed rear windscreen of a taxi.....a crushed motorcycle....the white canvas....flapping in the wind.

The next sight was the uncle with his hands in his face. It was really heart wrenching. I dun know what to say.

Someone din made it home today.

My missing rib

2006-06-21T02:59:00.000+08:00

Been like....2 years and 1 mth? Time really flies when this kinda thing happens. I do remember chip whos favourite is britney spears. Soccer was his passion. World cup season now.....hope he is watching from somewhere. Sometimes its hard to imagine someone in ur life, a friend is juz gone like dat. Still remembered the funeral at his place....all the sights and sounds. Now consigned into history.

Dunno if this is true or not....his missing rib is currently very happy now....want to know more msn me pls! life is unfair...but it never was in the first place rite ?

Wonder what am i doing in my life....total underachiever...hope his memory drives me on....stop being a procastinator Calvin ...WAKE UP.

GFS

2006-06-12T01:17:00.000+08:00

The REAL GFS in Hongkong.... makes our job so unglamourous...but hey! Its our duty !

2006-05-22T00:32:00.000+08:00

Kiss goodbye.....lee hom's new song.....super touching one.....
sometimes i wonder why gals are like dat...... super super attentive to
the ones they love, but then ignore other friends. machiam they are some trash...
Im too perfectionist.... hoping for an eutopia that will never occur....

My favourite song

2006-05-21T16:49:00.000+08:00

QQ asked why i keep listening to this song....perhaps its too "jaY" hee

Always Ready Part II

2006-05-14T15:26:00.000+08:00

Always Ready

2006-05-12T20:16:00.000+08:00

This is a TVB serial from last year. Swinger watched it and I happened to see it at QQ's place there. Ekin Cheng is a ACMO inside --> equal to our ACS. Bowie Lam is a pilot. Wah!! got SP / EC155 + lots of drama in the show. Very TV TV but still can hear the a/c startup. Very very nice.

Inside the serial there are also numerous r/s btw the leads....esp Ekin Cheng. Many touching moments, but there are also times you see the extent how the gals would sacrifice for the guys....WAH!! so touching ah!!

But sad to say, in real life this only happens when the gal like the guy. There is no such thing as a platonic friend who will go outta his / her way. Is this the selfishness of humans ? Or is it me who thinks there is a utopia at the end of the tunnel.

Since being in sch, I reckon whether at a tender age or working, pple are mostly the same. All with similar objectives, mostly for themselves. Who would stick out a neck for you....esp when u need it the most. Esp if u hope they would....

Time to continue watching again!!!

Money

2006-02-27T18:29:00.000+08:00

No no .... not cash but its callsign of one of my ex buddies. *note the word EX. Money was real SNAG when we first got to know each other in Pearce. Zensulphur can vouch on that yeah? Perhaps with a stroke of luck all of us came thru....even both me and money went thru a susp. board b4.

Money was always unhappy about certain tings in life. Was it his gal who was 10 years older or someting in his mercedes(Overheating coz too many amps). But he was always well dressed and well to do. And he always like to be heard. So there i was in Shanghai Sally in 2001 / 2002 period with him drinking away on the kilkennies and making friends with the waitresses. (Wasted a lot of time and good advice from QQ) But end of the day, its Money who wants to be heard. Rarely would he lend a listening ear to my issues. He would either take a neutral stand or make it seem unimportant at all. And always back to his OWN important issues.

QQ tried ways and means to make me realise how made use i was, but i chose not to listen. I chose Money instead. But then the whole "frenship" vapourised when i decided not to go down anymore. I was not driving then and listening to the old stories from him time after time after time was pretty sick. But the trip wire to the whole thing is that I am not heard. Sad to say. Im his friend and buddy and he never was mine.

Still remembered he tried to punch me at work after a while later and I was clearly not happy about how someone can treat you like a friend one min, and when the use is over...~poof. Nothings left. Absolutely nothing. Sigh

Perhaps I never realised I was being used, perhaps no one truly understands how I feel so deeply inside for my friends. But who truly are ? Who would stand by me ? I know who are the ones, no matter how bad things change they are still by my side, as I was with them always. But certainly not Money. Im not angry, just sad. Im the perfectionist that you pple cant see, the fault is piled on me by myself. No one to blame coz i chose him. And he never was.

*To Alvin; Hope tings turn out well between you and yian. I've done what I can.
** To Y.L ; Take care and hope you are happy everyday. I believe what I see in school. :)
*** And to all those @#@$#@#% pple out there....go stab someone else....leave me alone!

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. And I am in control Sir! Thanks for letting my fly my own plane ... The rest of you can go fly a kite

Time and Place - And where is SC ?

2006-02-07T17:43:00.000+08:00

Was watching the movie A.I just now after lunch and b4 my nap. (hee hee) Not the first time i watched the show, but still I was appalled by the way humans in the show treat each other and how they treated the robot child. Worse than a pet at the end. Choosing to discard it outta love?? Sigh. Would they do it to someone who came out of them physically. Especially mothers. They wouldn't, no matter how tired, no matter how sick or sad. They would still stick to their children and believe they would come back one day.

Perhaps the same train of thought brought up something else. Got this 2 friends J1 and J2. Ones working and another is studying respectively. J1 was someone that Ms Choo CL tried to intro to me!!! *faint. Shes was involved with someone married then. And the keyword was that he was "divorcing". (Isn't it the keyword all the time ?). Meanwhile J2 is someone who sticks by the bf no matter how bad the quarrel seems to be and she wonders why guys always think its over when there are bad quarrels.

Perhaps you could wonder why i brought J1 and J2 up. The issue is that end of the day, they did stick by what they believed in. No matter is it being branded a 3rd party in J1 case (Not relevant whether she is or not becos sure kanna accused) and J2's case.....she reminds me of Jan, as silly as Jan but more calmer overall. She also did stick to her beliefs in way lor.

So many things happened recently, I was branded an useless 26 year old by someone etc etc. Sad and really thought I tried my best to talk sometimes but when the mood is ok, Everyting seems ok isnt it. Sigh. I am not mind reader and I am just asking for someone to guide me along. Point and I shall know what to do. Get it ? Is it always my fault ?? Sometimes yeah!! But not all the time lor..... hope someone understands kk ??

** Btw where is SC ....pls go home !!

Choco the calvaliery

2006-01-25T01:33:00.000+08:00

This is choco with her battle horse towel!! looks cool arh ? Pink color somemore!! he is a real camera hog and knows when to stare into the lens....this pic not so ace due taken at nite...more to come!

Empty LT1A

2006-01-25T01:30:00.000+08:00

This is LT1A when its almost empty....when i arrived super early....so eng until i can take out my hp to take a photo. hee. This is where i get my lectures for this semester. No more up and down the 2 Spines. Tues is such a super day for me. Esp when im an enggr student!!! (Ends at 1030H btw)

Road kill

2006-01-25T01:21:00.000+08:00

Today I decided to leave 15mins earlier so that I can go down with QQ to drive off together. In fact i arrived rather early and I was there at 8 am! drove to park at my usual spot and saw this along the way. It was a kitten that was killed in apparently a road accident :( . Had my fair share of kitten raising in 2001 when I kinda adopted one at work. Unfortunately it was killed by a crow horribly and my then-friend G.C decided to make a joke outta it. It was perhaps only the second time i wanted to throw a punch at someone. It shld not have happened coz my then sup C.W decided that cats were unhygenic to be kept indoors (how ignorant) and thus i let it out, only to be killed like this one in the photo. That was something which I regret till this day. Sadly. I cannot reverse death and can only hope kitty is safe and sound in cat heaven. (This one as well). Sigh...hope tml is a better day.

Mac or Vaio ?

2006-01-17T00:35:00.000+08:00

Desperately need a new lappy to bring to skool and use it to work!!! Can monitor shares as well keke ... unless Samsung let me win the competition, looks like a tough fight between the Sony and the Apple!! Gambatte!!

Hopefully

2006-01-13T00:12:00.000+08:00

Hopefully will get to stay in this brand new block soon.

Friends

2006-01-10T23:57:00.000+08:00

Pic of Igloo and Dale

*Note the X-Metal on Igloo - Shuai Dai le !!

Igloo!

2006-01-10T23:44:00.000+08:00

This is Igloo!! S$30 Winnie the Pooh in Green Winter Jacket!

Why I rang you....

2005-12-29T18:25:00.000+08:00

Hope you like the present .... pls dun shout .... i hate it

Less than one in 4 million

2005-12-12T23:38:00.000+08:00

You were there when i fell,
you drove me when i was wheelless,
you took care of me when i sick,
you fed me when i couldnt eat.

You were there when i became better,
we grew fat together,
you saw what i couldn't see,
you stretched when i could reach.

You made milo everynight,
you cook food to my like,
you love me so so much,
I can only love u more and more.

Rain

2005-11-22T20:28:00.000+08:00

Almost the whole day rained today. Slept super early at 5am and thus woke up later then usual. Was reading through the econs past year paper 2003. Super nuah intially and decided to go get lunch with QQ. Then realised that at 1315H, most of the lunch was sold out downstairs. So she decided we drive out lor. Which we did and got lunch at Jing Jing. Rain and rain. We parked on the third storey of the msc there and realised the opposite block was empty! Almost new blocks (ard 1 year) actually was vacated. There was a covered bridge on the third floor and it connected straight to the carpark. Wah!! wat a luxury is that.

Grabbed lunch and headed home. Logged onto the housing agency website and viola! Those flats were not even released onto the market. Surprising indeed. Between Iridium and normal public housing, I have been telling QQ that we ought to save up so as not to waste the extra $$ as we do not qualify for any sort of grant (sob). hopefully she understands my point and not take it the other way. If not kanna a Roy Keane how ? lol

Talking abt Roy, numerous reports on ESPN and other sports channels state that he held grudges for very long and had to leave MU to maintain harmony. I would like to say that its real easy to comment on the outside, but if something you did not like or hated was meted onto you. I don't think its easy to let go and forget about it. Perhaps with more maturity some would say. But then again, if u really hated it so so so much. Then no one else can understand besides urself. I would say, well done Roy, Fergie's not so good a boss to work for anyway.

Family ancestory

2005-11-21T21:49:00.000+08:00

Went to a temple today and Paya Lebar area around 10plus am to pay respects to my grandfather and granny. Drove the FIT into that private housing neighbourhood and realised that the surroundings has not change much since i first went there back in the 80s. Perhaps new housing popping up here and there but did notice some empty houses in the vincinity.

Dad went ahead and showed me which row the ancestor tablets are held in the main hall of the temple. Frankly, the sheer numbers of the past generations there confused me too. Hard to find if dun have a photo or row number to guide.

Went down a level to pay respects at the urns' area. Mom went ahead with the rites and the joss sticks and there was I thinking would I do all the same next time ? Perhaps just there to pay respects but I also duno what to do if I went alone :).

Then I realised there was a new sectioned thats airconditioned!! Almost new renovation and all. Wah!! Much much higher price but brightly lit and very clean. Contrast to the areas outside.
How many more happy family years do all of us have?? People age and go. Time is running fast away. (Sch song)

Sending Feli off

2005-11-21T21:41:00.000+08:00

Backdated post;
was supposed to go out with Feli on fri to party as it was her last day in country. Never materialised because she was still sick from the illness since she came back. Fri evening received a sms from her that she needed a ride to the airport :). So there I went in search of her block along Hougang Ave 7. Rather near another friend's condo.

Saw her mother and her bro (din noe how to address him) lol. The flight was planned to be on sunday 0005H. Checked her in and got the chance to chit chat with her quite a bit. Realised that time passed so so so fast. Feli is a common friend with may... was like yesterday that she arrived in AAC but that was Sept 04.

It was then at the airport that I realised how warm is it to have someone to send you off when you are leaving. A warm handshake or a warm feeling runs through you. That was what i felt as someone leaving. Often in the case of the past 2 years. But sending someone off is indeed very very different.

Checked her boarding pass and walked her to the gate and there she went! A wave then another as she passed through the customs. Perhaps being here is better !! heeh (contary to my previous post). Take care Feli, see you in a few months.

Serendipity

2005-11-14T16:20:00.000+08:00

Remember this show from quite a few years back ? John Cusack and the Pearl Habour gal ?? whats her name ah ??? Ask ; do you believe in Serendipity ?

The show was about putting a 5 dollar note in a book and that note contained the girl's telephone number. A bit silly in these days of email and 3G hps. But still... what do you reckon ? Does love at first sight makes the whole thing go bad like a rotten egg ? Perhaps my ex can answer that question. LOL.

There is a new show called Just in Heaven by Reese Witherspoon and Mark Ruffalo. (Always spelt the name wrong) About an accident gal whose spirit still stayed around for unfinished business. Perhaps a good show to catch if you are those romantics :) .

Miss the aussie way of life and nua-ing away watching austar on the weekends and eating those sinful salty KFC fries or playing WC3 in the freezing living room. Life moves on and its been almost a year already. Miss it miss it! Perhaps hiding there was an escape from reality here. :-(

First Solo

2005-11-10T20:57:00.000+08:00

Just wanted to share a song that I had learned to love.
It was a song that was used in the presentation of my first solo ceremony.
Enjoy ..

The Best of Me

So many years gone, still i remember,
How did I ever let my heart believe,
In one who never gave enough to me.
And so many years gone, a love that was so wrong,
And I can't forget the way it used to be,
And how you change the taste of love for me.

**You were my one more chance, I never thought I'd find,
You were the one romance, I've always known in my mind,
No one can ever touch me more,
I only hope that in return,
I might've saved the best of me, for you.

And we'll have no ending,
If we can hold on,
And I think I've come this far because of you,
Could be no other love but ours will do.

**chorus

No one can ever touch me more,
I only hope that in return,
No matter how much we have to learn,
I've saved the best of me, for you...

By David Foster and Olivia Newton John

Dream dream

2005-11-03T20:25:00.000+08:00

Today is a public holiday!!! Sianz...thinking abt next week oredy headache liao. Was reading my quantum physics till 4am last nite...zz until 3 today!! yeah!! now super super "jing shen"!! Tomolo is the effective comms paper. Must learn to be more creative and less rigid (getting old you know)

Hmm...did come across the new Concept X car by mitsubishi....Evo-X ah. But still now on the roads see the IX i oredy drooling. But what the heck...Im driving a TRD leh. build no. 0592. Where to find except its in the dream cars section of GT4(lol). Wish me luck for tomolo and next week!! Cheers! Anson!!!! WRU ???

Maths 1A

2005-11-02T21:19:00.000+08:00

First exam since 1997. Thats ard 5 years ago liaoz. Was relatively calm before the paper. Only to forget the formula for volume integration!!! oh no!!!!!! wondering if i could have done better. With all the competition from the overseas students. Wat a letdown it has been. Hoping that the C.A points will give me a boost here. Mega mega sianz. Abit worried but wat else can i do ?? All the questions were attempted. Now next is computing......(Eff comms is english test man)

Alf's wedding

2005-10-30T18:42:00.000+08:00

Attend my cousin's wedding ytd at N.P Hotel. Rather normal and non fanciful event. Until he started to take out ANOTHER ring for his new wife. LOL. He was real real cute. Then came my uncle asking me if i was driving and shoved me a parking ticket (Which din work!!! Owe me $2.10!!) and all the relatives who I haven't met since grandma died in '00. Time really really flies. But then i went through it all !! Congrats Alf and Ruth!!

Life is too short to have regrets

2005-10-29T00:14:00.000+08:00

Friday again....can i stop time and twiddle my thumbs a while ? Apparently not... Thank you smithy for your advice. I am trying to analysis the issue as impartially as i can. Nothing to do with age gap or personal stubborn factor. Hope you can understand that I tink much more on and above my personal well being and benefits on this matter.

1) I made a HUGE effort each day waking up on time to make sure some other people get some more sleep.

2) I personally DID not ask for any fuel benefits to subsidise my added cost (~10km more each day)

3) I bring them to literally their doors each time.

4) I didnt get pissed when they failed to turn up due to oversleeping.

But then again, when people arent very considerate, all the 4 points are thrown outside the window, flushed into the toilet and totally disregarded. No matter how much time they saved, how much bus fare they saved etc.

Just to highlight one did buy me coffee everyday. **thanks!! :) that did brighten up my day.

Perhaps not taking initiative is not exactly right. But people shld actually see the good and bad sides and decide for themselves. Not juz be swayed around. That would show their true selves.

Excuse me ....are you a bus driver ?

2005-10-27T23:28:00.000+08:00

So there i was...driving outta NTU empty for perhaps the first of the many times to come. Perhaps its for the better lor. *wink.

Story goes;

Been fetching 2 classmates to sch since the middle of the term. They live nearby lor. If you have been reading the previous posts...u would know who they are. So i was expecting a confirmation sms or msn or fonecall as they had skipped the previous weeks lessons due to "lack of efficiency in absorption due talking during lectures".
But there wasnt any hints. So i decided to ask one of them "Is there something you havent done ?" But there wasnt any reply that was constuctive.

Hmmph....There I was thinking of asking them. But maybe I thought that if one was taking a ride, they shld have some intitative to ask rite ? So i waited. 12am....1am ...2am. Hmmph perhaps they not going rite ? Wrong.

So **yawnz....woke up at ard 8am. Still no msg. So i kaypoh sms. Only to find out that they have already left for sch. **scratch head. I admit i was taken aback and perhaps a little unhappy. But legs are theirs and so i cant stop them.

Lectures were normal todae....Bruce lee really tried to speed up. And mumbles most of the examples...lol ....then ended with maths lecture.

So there they were sitting there and I walked to my car....waited a little while and drove off. Back of my mind tinking....won't sms one. so off i went....to claim $$!!hehe then came in a sms; "did u receive my msg??" from one of them. I was already in
Yishun.

Blah blah blah......and went on to say that they were taking bus. And then the SMS went dead.

Frankly, i was indeed (*) very pissed on how the whole thing was handled. The lack of comms and intiative etc. But juz a while ago, they again unilaterally decided to go to sch alone from now. Hmmphz!

Theres nothing left for me to say liao....except to zip up. Comms channels are closed and so are pples brains. Gambatte!!

Did you..

2005-10-26T22:21:00.000+08:00

Did you ever thought that you could do something more with your life but couldnt because of some reason or another ? Did you ever feel that theres a glass roof on top of your head that you can see through but not go through ? Perhaps all along I did.

In fact did try to talk to one of the shrinks at our frenly MC...the first question was; "why do you think theres a glass roof ??" (Piang). Perhaps personal interpretations are best left to the individual to decipher. Frankly, personal concepts and self esteem can be changed. It needs a lot of de-moulding that shell which has formed over the years. Pride, "face" value, morals... perhaps thinking aloud is useful. Listening and observing too....i am so guilty of talking away. People mostly think Im bullshitting....even though i don't mean to do it. Painful but thats life when you're different. Good or bad I also not sure.

The test today in physics thought me a lot;

i) There no free lunch (Econs ???)
ii) Revise or fail
iii) I can do much much much better

one more week to maths exams. To do well or fail still within my grasp.... Cherish or lose it. Gambatte Tachyon!!

For S. Charlie I come!!!
**Iridium too!

Awkward.....

2005-10-24T17:02:00.000+08:00

Drove to and from skool todae. Was pretty much uneventful...except for the computing portion. Abit blur and the Disk I/O...havent did the lectures yet and had to write a full program. What a mad rush...exams next Wed....mega mad rush.

So the normal chattering on the car as usual...but the topics turned to their JC friends .... so there i was machiam like a driver..(which i m) and was totally silent...sigh... on the way back again it happened. But not before Justus had a good time teasing Ling and Nick. LOL

Ling's stern face din look like she was joking....i also thought she dropping off to make Nick send her home haah.

Coming to that....only been talking to Sophia and Stephen from Jc times....pple like Meishan, Xiuhui, Guowei, Mingwei...all gone to dunno where liao. Perhaps its because i never bothered to keep contact. (Perhaps i infamous ?? LOL) But Stephen and Sophia.....when we meet up ??? :P

Raining liao....vani and choco huddling outside...**shiver...

Raining - Err whats the speed of sound ?

2005-10-18T18:13:00.000+08:00

Raining half the trip back home. Tried to offload lian but the rain was so heavy that we had to reposition to the buststop. It was thundering all over the place. (does it coincide with my mood ??) Then there was this flash...so i asked "10" wat was the speed of sound (in hope she knew the rule of thumb that we can count the distance of the lightning). So "10" blurted out..." 3 x 10'8 lor.."

The next thing that happened was a knock on the head. LOL. But the rain didn't stop. Sianz.

Throughout the trip back home, we were debating whether G's new gal in the frame liked him or not. I was so tense in the arguements and insistent that i even surprised myself. Perhaps past bad experiences taught me that negative trait. But lian and "10" was really thinking as if we are in utopia. If only everyone was as nice. Then perhaps this world would be a better place after all.

Hmm...lastly, sorry QQ for not waking u up this morning. From now on i sure set the alarm for you one. Ring and ring ...snooze until u wake up. Looks like Timex is better off as a HRM then a alarm clock. LOL